“An eye-opening account of life in China’s orphanages. Kay Bratt vividly details the conditions and realities faced by Chinese orphans in an easy-to-read manner that draws the reader in to the heart-wrenching moments she has experienced in her work to bring hope to these children.”—Dan Cruver, cofounder and director of Together for AdoptionWhen her family relocated to rural China in 2003, Kay Bratt was thrust into a new world, one where boys were considered more valuable than girls and poverty and the one-child policy had created an epidemic of abandoned infants. As a volunteer at a local orphanage, Bratt witnessed conditions that were unfathomable to a middle-class mother of two from South Carolina. Based on Bratt’s diary of her four years working at the orphanage, Silent Tears offers a searing account of young lives rendered disposable. In the face of an implacable system, Bratt found ways to work within (and around) the rules to make a better future for the children, whom she came to love. Her story balances the sadness and struggles of life in the orphanage with moments of joy, optimism, faith, and victory. It is the story of hundreds of children—and one woman who never planned on becoming a hero but became one anyway.

"An extremely useful parenting handbook... truly outstanding ... strongly recommended." --Library Journal (starred review) "A tremendous resource for parents and professionals alike." --Thomas Atwood, president and CEO, National Council for Adoption The adoption of a child is always a joyous moment in the life of a family. Some adoptions, though, present unique challenges. Welcoming these children into your family--and addressing their special needs--requires care, consideration, and compassion. Written by two research psychologists specializing in adoption and attachment, The Connected Child will help you: Build bonds of affection and trust with your adopted child Effectively deal with any learning or behavioral disorders Discipline your child with love without making him or her feel threatened "A must-read not only for adoptive parents, but for all families striving to correct and connect with their children." --Carol S. Kranowitz, author of The Out-of-Sync Child  "Drs. Purvis and Cross have thrown a life preserver not only to those just entering uncharted waters, but also to those struggling to stay afloat."--Kathleen E. Morris, editor of S. I. Focus magazine  "Truly an exceptional, innovative work . . . compassionate, accessible, and founded on a breadth of scientific knowledge and clinical expertise."--Susan Livingston Smith, program director, Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute "The Connected Child is the literary equivalent of an airline oxygen mask and instructions:  place the mask over your own face first, then over the nose of your child. This book first assists the parent, saying, in effect,  'Calm down, you're not the first mom or dad in the world to face this hurdle, breathe deeply, then follow these simple steps.'  The sense of not facing these issues alone--the relief that your child's behavior is not off the charts--is hugely comforting. Other children have behaved this way; other parents have responded thusly; welcome to the community of therapeutic and joyful adoptive families." --Melissa Fay Greene, author of There is No Me Without You: One Woman's Odyssey to Rescue Africa's Children

Fetal Alcohol effects... bonding attachment disorder... self-abusive... violent, destructive, aggressive... fire starter... _______________________________________________________________ Happy, successful, easy adoptions are a reality! Many times the children are no more or less difficult to parent than average. However, sometimes raising adopted kids is extremely difficult. Are you really prepared to adopt? Read on as experienced foster, adoptive and even grandparents share stories of success, but also of struggles. Many entered adoption unprepared and were quickly overwhelmed. We wondered why our parenting methods failed. Why didn't our love heal these children? Why were our previously happy families now falling apart? We lacked vital information about invisible disabilities; we didn't know how profoundly neglect damages an infant. We didn't realize we'd signed up to be missionaries to miniature heathens - nor that a spiritual enemy opposed us. Perhaps we assumed the natural state of man, apart from negative influence or defective genes, would be an ideal person; in the Garden of Eden... maybe. We're not in the Garden anymore! Before you adopt, pray for protection and guidance - and be sure you read This Means War! "This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength...'" (Isaiah 30:15a NIV)

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control covers in detail the effects of trauma on the body-mind and how trauma alters children's behavioral responses. The first four chapters help parents and professionals clearly understand the neurological research behind the basic model given in this book, deemed, 'The Stress Model.' While scientifically based in research, it is written in an easy to understand and easy to grasp format for anyone working with or parenting children with severe behaviors. The next seven chapters are individually devoted to seven behaviors typically seen with attachment-challenged children. These include lying, stealing, hoarding and gorging, aggression, defiance, lack of eye contact, and yes, even a chapter that talks candidly about how parents appear hostile and angry when they work to simply maintain their families from reaching complete states of chaos. Each of these chapters talks in depth on these specific behaviors and gives vivid and contrasting examples of how this love-based approach works to foster healing and works to develop relationships, as opposed to the fear-based traditional attachment parenting approaches that are being advocated in today's attachment field. The authors end with a Parenting Bonus Section: true testimonials from parents who have been able to make significant changes in their homes with this model of parenting, giving real-life examples of how they have been able to find the healing, peace, and love that they had been seeking prior to working through the techniques outlined in this book.

FOR USE IN SCHOOLS AND LIBRARIES ONLY. Traces the author's painful childhood in a series of foster homes, an upbringing marked by a deteriorating relationship with her emotionally unstable mother, manipulative and humiliating abuse at the hands of a foster family, and her subsequent efforts to advocate for an improved foster care system.

Although Jodie is only eight years old, she is violent, aggressive, and has already been through numerous foster families. Her last hope is Cathy Glass. At the Social Services office, Cathy (an experienced foster carer) is pressured into taking Jodie as a new placement. Jodie's challenging behavior has seen off five carers in four months. Despite her reservations, Cathy decides to take on Jodie to protect her from being placed in an institution. Jodie arrives, and her first act is to soil herself, and then wipe it on her face, grinning wickedly. Jodie meets Cathy's teenage children, and greets them with a sharp kick to the shins. That night, Cathy finds Jodie covered in blood, having cut her own wrist, and smeared the blood over her face. As Jodie begins to trust Cathy her behavior improves. Over time, with childish honesty, she reveals details of her abuse at the hands of her parents and others. It becomes clear that Jodie's parents were involved in a sickening pedophile ring, with neighbors and Social Services not seeing what should have been obvious signs. Unfortunately Jodie becomes increasingly withdrawn, and it's clear she needs psychiatric therapy. Cathy urges the Social Services to provide funding, but instead they decide to take Jodie away from her, and place her in a residential unit. Although the pedophile ring is investigated and brought to justice, Jodie's future is still up in the air. Cathy promises that she will stand by her no matter what—er love for the abandoned Jodie is unbreakable.

Dispatches from the new front lines of parenthood When the two-time National Book Award finalist Melissa Fay Greene confided to friends that she and her husband planned to adopt a four-year-old boy from Bulgaria to add to their four children at home, the news threatened to place her, she writes, “among the greats: the Kennedys, the McCaughey septuplets, the von Trapp family singers, and perhaps even Mrs. Feodor Vassilyev, who, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, gave birth to sixty-nine children in eighteenth-century Russia.” Greene is best known for her books on the civil rights movement and the African HIV/AIDS pandemic. She’s been praised for her “historian’s urge for accuracy,” her “sociologist’s sense of social nuance,” and her “writerly passion for the beauty of language.”But Melissa and her husband have also pursued a more private vocation: parenthood. “We so loved raising our four children by birth, we didn’t want to stop. When the clock started to run down on the home team, we brought in ringers.”When the number of children hit nine, Greene took a break from reporting. She trained her journalist’s eye upon events at home. Fisseha was riding a bike down the basement stairs; out on the porch, a squirrel was sitting on Jesse’s head; vulgar posters had erupted on bedroom walls; the insult niftam (the Amharic word for “snot”) had led to fistfights; and four non-native-English-speaking teenage boys were researching, on Mom’s computer, the subject of “saxing.” “At first I thought one of our trombone players was considering a change of instrument,” writes Greene. “Then I remembered: they can’t spell.” Using the tools of her trade, she uncovered the true subject of the “saxing” investigation, inspiring the chapter “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, but Couldn’t Spell.” A celebration of parenthood; an ingathering of children, through birth and out of loss and bereavement; a relishing of moments hilarious and enlightening—No Biking in the House Without a Helmet is a loving portrait of a unique twenty first-century family as it wobbles between disaster and joy.

A stirring call to Christian families and churches to be apeople who care for orphans, not just in word, but indeed.The gospel of Jesus Christ-the good news that through Jesus wehave been adopted as sons and daughters into God's family-meansthat Christians ought to be at the forefront of the adoption oforphans in North America and around the world.Russell D. Moore does not shy away from this call in Adoptedfor Life, a popular-level, practical manifesto for Christiansto adopt children and to help equip other Christian families to dothe same. He shows that adoption is not just about couples who wantchildren-or who want more children. It is about an entire culturewithin evangelicalism, a culture that sees adoption as part of theGreat Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself.Moore, who adopted two boys from Russia and has spoken widely onthe subject, writes for couples considering adoption, families whohave adopted children, and pastors who wish to encourageadoption.

"Birthdays may be difficult for me.""I want you to take the initiative in opening conversations about my birth family.""When I act out my fears in obnoxious ways, please hang in there with me.""I am afraid you will abandon me."The voices of adopted children are poignant, questioning. And they tell a familiar story of loss, fear, and hope. This extraordinary book, written by a woman who was adopted herself, gives voice to children's unspoken concerns, and shows adoptive parents how to free their kids from feelings of fear, abandonment, and shame.With warmth and candor, Sherrie Eldridge reveals the twenty complex emotional issues you must understand to nurture the child you love--that he must grieve his loss now if he is to receive love fully in the future--that she needs honest information about her birth family no matter how painful the details may be--and that although he may choose to search for his birth family, he will always rely on you to be his parents.Filled with powerful insights from children, parents, and experts in the field, plus practical strategies and case histories that will ring true for every adoptive family, Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew is an invaluable guide to the complex emotions that take up residence within the heart of the adopted child--and within the adoptive home.

"We're hungry," his brother kept repeating. :We're hungry, Justin. Please find us some food." Justin was just five years old; his brothers two and three. Their mother, a heroin addict, had left them hungry and alone, while she went to get her next fix. Later that day, after trying to burn down the family home, Justin was taken into care. Justin was taken into care at the age of five after deliberately burning down his family home. Six years on, after 20 failed placements, Justin arrives at Casey's home. Casey and her husband Mike are specialist foster carers. They practice a new style of foster care that focuses on modifying the behavior of profoundly damaged children. They are Justin's last hope, and it quickly becomes clear that they are facing a big challenge. Try as they might to make him welcome, he seems determined to strip his life of all the comforts they bring him, violently lashing out at schoolmates and family and throwing any affection they offer him back in their faces. After a childhood filled with hurt and rejection, Justin simply doesn't want to know. But, as it soon emerges, this is only the tip of a chilling iceberg. As a visit to Justin's mother on Boxing Day reveals, there are some very dark underlying problems that Justin has never spoken about. As the full picture becomes clearer, and the horrific truth of Justin's early life is revealed, Casey and her family finally start to understand the pain he has suffered.